The Fucking Cookies are Real, Man

No, seriously, these are real chocolate fucking chunk cookies. It says so right here on the package.
Okay, it doesn't say anything about fucking. or not.

"Real chocolate chunk cookies." I'm not sure if it's real chocolate or real chunks or real cookies. I do understand "made with real cheese." This is the real deal, yo. Cheese made from, like, a real cow's actual milk.
 I have been conditioned to expect misleading advertising. I know that if they spell it "cheeze" that it isn't actually cheese and if the word "cheese" is followed by the word "food," that's not cheese, either.

Advertisers know that just the thought of something new is appealing. Everybody wants/likes something new.  All they need to do is say "New" on the package and they have our attention. They know that some people won't even notice that the phrase "NEW package"means exactly what it said. Nothing new inside. Gotcha. and they lol. Then they lol some more cos the package is a little bigger but the product is not.

They could say "NEW way of ripping you off" paired with a photo of some hot ass ho such as myself, combine that with the phrase "100% guaranteed pure product" and probably six out of ten guys would read it "New way of Getting You Off!" "100% Guaranteed Pure Pussy!" and buy two containers of it. Then they get home with it and find the fine print says something like this:

By purchase of this product, you agree that you have read this entire legally binding document which, after filtering out all the legal jargon we use to hide the facts that we are by law (giggle) required to own up to, (we know you have already stopped reading so we will just say it now and if we see a slump in sales we will bury the facts deeper, if not, we will see just how fucking blatant we can be about truth in advertising (we are all loling right now) in the future, means that you waive all rights to sue us even if you don't even know that waive spelled this way is not a form of greeting. You agree to not hold us liable even if your use of our product causes you harm or death. You agree to our non-disclosure policy or face fines and jail time. (that is, you can't tell anybody how shitty we fucked you or you will fucking go to jail (we're ROFL now)) and you agree to accept full responsibility for proper disposal of any unused product while acknowledging you know you are paying us for the contents of this container which contains none other than our waste product from manufacture of this container. OK, it does contain freeze dried product from the restrooms and may contain power plant waste in amounts declared negligible by the EPA. (we just love to fuck with them! lolz for realz!) Oh yea, you also agree that all sales are final and there is no fucking way you're getting your money back, you brainwashed apathetic sheep of a loser. We know this special promotion will not last, so we are gonna just say fuck everybody else and fuck the planet, too. And baby? What do you love more? All this money or the kids? Yea, me too. Fuck 'em.